Leaving the Drama and Trauma Behind

If you look at your life on a daily level:

  • How many people do you interact with?
  • How many places do you go (even if it’s within one building)?
  • How many decisions do you make?
  • How many compromises?

Our days seem very busy or hectic.

And yet, how many feel alone or isolated? Separated from the bulk of the population?

Many of us had been human conditioned to fit; to belong, to be accepted…but are now feeling that we no longer do belong.

Now, how many of you feel that way since you’ve begun to pull out and away from the drama and trauma games?

Drama and Trauma

Some, by leaving the drama and trauma behind feel adrift, unconnected.

This is the time for your growth.

This is the time for self-realization; for delving within to find out who you are…what your truths are.

You can learn (and this can be an ongoing process) more about who you really are, which means minus:

  • others expectations of what they think or believe you to be -
  • others beliefs you accepted, but they no longer fit you -
  • going against what feels morally and energetically right.

Self-exploration and discovery have the possibility of being a wondrous adventure…and may be quite freeing.

Deferring to Others

I had never picked, or bought, bedroom furniture or dishes by myself. I’m not complaining, just stating a fact.

My husband had loved a bedroom set we had discovered at a furniture store. Suited me fine; it wasn’t hideous looking. It was wood – I like wood – and would serve the purpose it was created for.

A few years ago, hubby and I were at an upscale consignment shop where I saw a dinner set that grabbed me. I absolutely loved the pattern. I was in my late forties and the for the first time I chose dishes and chose them because I liked them.

It wasn’t because someone else liked them and it would serve their intended purpose. I liked their pattern and the energy of the set.

Though it may appear to be a somewhat lame and mundane experience to others, it was quite a big leap for me. Who knew I could discover something about Jan through buying dishes?

In the past, as long as I didn’t have a negative reaction to the colors, pattern or set, it didn’t matter to me what someone else chose.

So what’s the big deal? I didn’t know what I liked. I always deferred to others.

This is what we – as humans – have done over and over in our lives…deferred our likes – or dislikes – to others; silencing or ignoring our inner likes or dislikes. Silencing our inner voice.

Don’t Get Lost

I have been receiving the same message for a few weeks – coming from different sources.

One message was, “Don’t ever forget who you are. Don’t get lost.”

Others were along the lines of:

  • Remain true to you
  • Don’t lose your truth to “fit in”
  • Don’t change you to be accepted by others
  • Stand firm in you

I see this time of feeling isolated or alone as a time to discover your own truths.

And to honor your truths.

Then stand firm and don’t lose your truths.

Oh, and P.S. – The isolated feeling is nothing but an illusion – a tool to aid you in looking within. You are never alone.

“Don’t ever forget who you are. Don’t get lost.”

by Jan Toomer


Energy Residue, Part Two

Part One

How Can I Become More Sensitive?

By being aware. Seriously. Be more observant to what your body is telling you.

  • Do you get headaches which feel like an irritating buzz going on in the back of your head?
  • Do you touch an item or persons hand and then wipe your hand on your pants leg?
  • Do you feel slightly nauseous when you went into your friends (relatives, in-laws, etc.) place – only to find out later that they had had a major argument the night before you came?
  • Do you feel like fleeing shortly after arriving somewhere (like you can’t wait to leave)?

These can be signals that your body is trying to tell you something.

Your physical body will tell you – you just need to learn your body’s language.

The head buzzing, for me, means I’ve tuned into too many energy residues or energy signatures. It is an overload.

When I wipe my hand on my pants after touching someone or something, it means I got some “yucky-to-me” energy residue on my hand and I am trying to remove it. (Washing or rinsing it off works well.)

For me, the nauseous feeling alerts me that I just walked into a very tumultuous energy – like entering a miniature battlefield – and it upset my body.

If I enter someone’s home and I can’t wait to get out of there, it means something unhealthy to me is in there. It could be an allergen, or those who reside there do not possess healthy energy habits. Or, what I think of as a toxic environment.

Hubby and I were once invited over to a neighbors home. When we walked in through the front door, I was pleasantly surprised at the beauty of the home…and I didn’t want to leave the doorway…I wanted to leave and I wasn’t sure why.

We followed the owner and our host for the house tour. By the time we finished up in the kitchen I was in full panic mode and still didn’t know why. I looked down at my arm and saw I had a rash beginning on the inside of my elbow. Mold was present!

I nonchalantly asked if he had had water issues recently. He told us yes, that he had put on his washing machine and left for work. When he opened the door after work, he found the place flooded. Even the walls were soaked. He then mentioned that he hadn’t gotten around to pulling drywall and replacing it yet.

He said he still had mold in his walls.

This incident – though was not directly energy residue related – did show that our bodies call tell us when something is off…we just need to listen.

By watching your body and its responses, you can begin to become more aware.

And let’s not forget to listen to the inner alarms – they are there for a reason.

How To Clean The Air (Energetically)

Shielding techniques do help. Modify a shielding technique to fit you.

If the property/area is yours, or you want to cleanse your property/self when you get back home – here are some ideas:

I cannot tolerate the smoke sage smudging, so I make a liquid sage smudge in a spritz bottle.

Again, you can use the same shielding techniques you use for cleansing and shielding yourself. Shield self first, then use same technique to shield property.

Visualizing while praying or setting your intent.

Yes, the old fashioned house cleaning. It stimulates energy flow while removing residue.

by Jan Toomer


Energy Residue, Part One

Energy Signature

We talked about energy signatures back in April and how each beings signature is unique to each individual. If you haven’t read this yet, you may want to read it first.

What is Energy Residue?

Energy residue can be found on a person, an object, at a location or time.

Everything is energy, from our thoughts all the way down to our physical reality.

Energy denseness determines how physical the energy manifesting will be or is.

We are in a physical interactive reality…we physically interact with our environment.

Wherever we go – whatever we touch – whatever we experience…we leave energy residue behind.*

Yesterday’s Clothes

I was on my feet from around eight in the morning until noon; then again from around twelve-thirty until four in the afternoon…cooking from scratch.

My legs, back and shoulders were a bit cranky, but I felt like I had accomplished a lot.

Once I finally finished and sat on the couch…I do did not want to get back up again.

By bedtime, I was sore and really looking forward to regeneration-time (aka sleep).

I laid my Capri shorts on the bench and figured I could wear them the next day. I hadn’t spilled anything on them. I hadn’t sweat…so they should be good to go for whatever I got into the next day.


The next day, I leaned over to grab the Capri shorts…and stopped just short of actually touching them.

The waves of exhaustion and depletion emanated from the denim material.

They may have looked okay, but energetically? The residue was so heavy that there was no way I wanted that back on my clean body.

What Would’ve Happened If I Had Worn Them Again?

Water is not only a physical cleanser, but energetic and symbolic as well. Water also stands for regeneration and purification.

I had cleansed, purified and had rejuvenated my body by showering. Sleep also helped.

Washing our clothes and bedding cleans them both physically and energetically.

I, personally, am sensitive to energy residue. Had I put those Capri’s back on, I would’ve been dousing my – now cleaned – body with the energy of exhaustion and soreness. Not a good way to begin a new day.

Energy Residue Everywhere

We are all just leaving residue everywhere. We are touching, walking through, sitting in and picking up everyone else’s residue.

There is residue in your friends homes, stores, subways, restaurants, elevators, hallways, schools, offices…everywhere.

Ever felt really good, walked into a big box store (for example) and left feeling achy, cranky and/or aggressive? How about feeling drained?

It sucks crunchy peanut butter, right?

In stores, we are subjected to fluorescent lighting (contains mercury and for me it causes headaches, feeling totally drained and actually burns my skin and eyes); chemical smells from everything inside of the store. There are also tiny fibers floating around and don’t forget dust or mold.

We also have the multitudes of energy residues from every employee and every customer who have passed through the doors. Oh, and let’s not forget the energy residue of those who loaded the trucks to get the clothing (for example) to your store. And there is also residue from:

  • The truck drivers 
  • The people who initially loaded the trucks
  • All the way back to the people who made the garments. And if they were made overseas (such as China) you also have their fears, hates, heartache, desperation, exhaustion, etc. now embedded into your clothing.

And these are just a few examples.

So when I said there was energy residue pretty much everywhere , I meant it. For sensitives and psychometrists, it can be an energetic overload.

* (Note: there are some individuals who work their energy to be un-sensed, unknown, and/or untraceable. It doesn’t mean they didn’t leave a residue behind. It means they hid – or camouflaged their residue.)

Part Two next week.

by Jan Toomer


Please Don’t Feed the Ego

Ego has been a topic that has been brought up in conversations off and on for two weeks now.

In the past, I had a horrible fear of coming down with a case of “big head”; of becoming an ego-maniac. Whenever someone tried to compliment me, I was quick to use diversionary tactics to move the attention elsewhere. I figured it would keep me from becoming egotistical or full of myself.

When anyone commented on my abilities, I would again downplay their perception of what I do or did.

And then I started growing up.

I will occasionally find myself being dismissive in an old habit attempt to deflect…but not so much as before.

What Changed?

Remember that – from about mid 2012 to more recently – I had been writing about taking responsibility for you and your life? Well, I wasn’t taking responsibility for accepting me – all of me. I was so worried about my ego getting too big that I downplayed, dismissed, or ignored aspects of myself.

I was also trying to accept responsibility for how others perceived me.

So, in a nutshell, I wasn’t accepting responsibility where I needed to – and was accepting responsibility where it wasn’t mine to take on.

Kind of backward, right?

See Your Shining Light

When I was teaching my metaphysical classes at the local college, I was often surprised at some of the others missing how awesome of a being they truly were.

I would often say, “If you could see you the way I see you, you’d know how wonderful a being you really are!”

And I meant it.

The light, essence or beingness that shone through each person was, and is, totally amazing. I wished for each of them to see their shining Light.

And yet I downplayed mine.

Not cool.

  • I still have my moments, but have mostly accepted all of me.
  • I still feel the need to keep myself in check and not move into ego. I still feel like “just me, Jan”.
  • But work daily on accepting what “just me, Jan” means and is.

Please Don’t Feed the Ego – Mine or Anyone Else’s

A friend and I were chatting and we ended up touching on the topic of the ego. I am not quite sure of the wording or how we got where we did, but we ended up giggling over “Please Don’t Feed the Ego” as though it were a sign one would find at a zoo.

While accepting responsibility for you and your life, don’t forget that includes accepting responsibility for keeping your ego in check as well as honoring your Light.

by Jan Toomer



(The following was the opening introduction topic to A Lightworker’s Gathering held on May 22, 2014. This is only the introduction topic. The resulting discussions, and additional topics, are not presented here.)

Remember, I am sharing my experiences, beliefs and interpretations. Please take what fits you and release the rest.

Exit Points

Exit points are strategically placed emergency exits for you to leave your life and body (die). As far as I understand, we each have about five of these per lifetime.

We all seem to be provided these opportunities, and each one that we are faced with, we have to make a decision to stay or go.

These decisions are not always conscious ones; sometimes our conscious mind is clueless about the whole process…although we may sometimes get hints or clues.

Think back throughout your life. Were there times when you – or others – thought or said that you shouldn’t have lived (or survived) after _______________ incident/experience? Or perhaps that it was a miracle that you had survived?

When I was a teen, I had seen myself die. I rose out of my body. I sat in the corner of my room (ceiling) and looked down at my body.

I wasn’t upset or concerned; rather I felt curious about the scenario, yet felt detached from the body and its lifetime.

I knew my guide was behind me, though I couldn’t see him. We were having a discussion as to whether or not I wanted to go back into my body and continue with that lifetime.

The good thing about being detached was that I was able to view that life objectively. In body, I had felt my life was an emotional and physical hell up to that moment. Yet I decided that I had made it that far, I might as well keep on going.

At that moment of that thought, I was slammed back into my body. My eyes flew open as I struggled to get my lungs restarted.

From that point on, I became more determined to maintain the “real” me; though, as a teen, I hadn’t quite figured out what the real me was yet. I knew that it meant no matter how much some of those in my world saw me as a ‘freak’, I would work to stay true to me.

I had not accepted that exit point.

Seeing Deceased Loved Ones

Why do some people see deceased loved ones and others don’t?

Could it be due to each person’s belief system? Absolutely, but I don’t feel that it is the only reason.

Think about those who thought there is nothing after we die. Our bodies return to dust and we cease to exist…yet some of those who follow this belief speak of seeing their deceased spouse, parent, friend, pet, etc. waiting in the corner (or at the foot of the bed, in the Light, etc.) for her/him to pass over.

Some – whether they believe or not – may or may not see the deceased loved ones prior to passing.

If they are not seen, does this mean no one is waiting for them, to be there when (s)he dies?

I truly believe that we all have loved ones who come to aid us in transitioning.

One person told me they could only go if there dog was there to meet him…no one else because people “sucked”. (His dog did greet him. His mother as also there, but stood further away. She was present, but allowed him to decide to approach her or not.)

Another person was terrified to die because she was afraid her deceased husband – who had been abusive – would be waiting for her.

I explained that her husband would not be there if she truly didn’t want him to be there. (He wasn’t; she was greeted by her deceased daughter and great granddaughter…oh, and a deceased Chihuahua.)

Some may not see their loved ones for a myriad of reasons (fear, guilt, confusions, etc.), but the loved ones wait, off in the wings, until (s)he is ready to see them.

When Does the Soul Leave?

Can the soul get trapped outside of the dead body?

I have never heard of this happening, nor have I see this happen.

I feel that once the person has fulfilled what their soul wanted to accomplish in this lifetime, then they are free to disconnect. This disconnect (unplugging) is the cord detaching from the physical body, and the physical body dies.

If a person dies, but is able to be revived, it means the cord had not unplugged/detached from the physical body.

I have been asked – as have many mediums – if their deceased loved one suffered and/or are still in pain.

Let me be perfectly clear here – the soul leaves the body before the physical death. What’s more, the soul ejects before any trauma, whether the body dies or not.

Once detached from the physical body and having crossed over (into the Light), they do not feel pain; they are whole, complete, at peace and want their surviving loved ones to continue with their lives in peace and happiness.

So one question begs an answer: if the soul leaves the body before death, especially before a traumatic death, then why do some people carry past life memories of traumatic deaths?

For example: for those with deaths due to beheading, strangulation, broken neck, hanging, etc. often have, in this current lifetime, issues with tight ties, turtlenecks, tight necklaces, etc. around their necks.

Remember I wrote that the soul leaves the body before the actual death? Well, I also wrote that the cord doesn’t disconnect until the physical body dies. The memory of the incident is still recorded in that beings’ energy.

We can carry the memory of what caused us to be in the situation that ended in the hanging, strangulation, etc. The cord connection can also carry that memory.

What Happens When the Body Dies?

Our soul extracts itself from the body by popping out – usually from either the abdomen or the head.

We have lots of practice with this since most of us leave our bodies nightly while the physical body sleeps.

Once the cord disconnects, we completely detach from the body.

From this point on, it is totally up to the newly deceased individual. The following are only a sampling of possibilities:

  • They can immediately go into the “Light” (cross over) when greeted by a deceased loved one or an angel.
  • They can hang around until their funeral, wake, etc. and then cross over.
  • They can become Earthbound and not cross over (ghosts). This can happen for as many reasons as there are individuals…anger, unfinished business, doesn’t want to leave their spouse/child, afraid to cross over or fear of the unknown, addictions they don’t want to release, etc.
  • They can become trapped here by the grief of a surviving spouse/child/parent who refuses to “let them go”. They become weighed down, trapped by the grief. If this is the cause, they (they deceased who have crossed over, your guides, etc.) may work to help the survivors heal or have a message brought to them to make them away of the situation.

The choice (free will) is our as to what we will do when our physical body dies.

by Jan Toomer



The Truth is Working to Be Freed

While hubby and I were shopping last week, we had to hunt down an employee to assist us. We were then bounced from one employee to another. Frustrated, we sought yet another employee. When we explained what we had just gone through to try to get some help, she was genuinely distressed.

As she walked with us, she apologized profusely. She stopped and turned to face me, crossed her arms across her chest and proceeded to tell me about how the employees were treated. Her energy spoke of the stresses, her frustrations, the feeling of being trapped and very much in need to have a job.

This was twice in less than a month that an employee shared about the behind-the-scenes working environment. The truth is working to be freed.

Every once and a while I post a reminder:

Let the truth be known
Let the truth be shown

This is part of the energy we, on Earth, are working on…seeing that which had been hidden. This is on the physical level for personal/self all the way up to global, as well as on the energetic level.

People Watching

Many people find it hard to believe that I don’t watch or listen to the news (won’t go into my own personal disgust with now-a-days news “dissemination” ). To me, energy speaks volumes – and energy cannot lie.

While I observed people this past week, I saw many faces with dark circles under their eyes. Some people eyes also expressed:  defeat, hopelessness, numbness, weariness, agitation or irritation.

There were also some whose faces showed compassion, caring, were full of hope and a joy of life that wanted to be shared.

The different energies showed:

  1. Struggling to keep up with the energy shifts
  2. Feeling unable to keep up with their own lives much less aid someone else
  3. Uncertainty of who to trust and what to trust
  4. Fear of the unknown
  5. Wanting to be heard/acknowledged – feeling isolated
  6. A passion, or knowing, that all is as it should be – and/or – complete trust (faith) with their life (their connection to their Higher Self, team, Source or Creator).

The first five are all stepping stone opportunities (which means they can be accepted or rejected) for one to quit relying on listening to everyone else. It is a time to turn within and listen to one’s heart, Higher Self, team, etc.

There really isn’t isolation, hopelessness, defeatism, etc….those are illusions that we can continue to accept or to reject in our life…and the opportunities are often presented on a regular basis.

Why I Write These Articles

I write so that if you experience such and such (fill in the blank here), you may at least have had a heads up and know someone else had experienced it.

We are truly in this together. Of course, not everyone experiences what I experience or observe, and that is okay too.

The truth is working to present itself to you. Are you listening? Are you seeing?

Let the truth be known
Let the truth be shown

by Jan Toomer


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