Listening to yourself begins with trusting yourself. While those words are easily understood by the logical aspects of the mind, it may not be so easily implemented.

We have been programmed from physical day one, also known as our birth, to listen to others.

We began to learn words, and then learned what was or wasn’t allowed. This meant we heard, and hear, the word “no” a lot.

We are trained to listen to our parents, religious leaders, teachers, professors, bosses, etc.

We are programmed not to listen to our inner voice, but rather to turn to someone outside of us.

Take a moment and think about that…

We are programmed to be directed by others.
To do what others tell us to do.
To believe what others tell us to believe.
To think what we are told to think.

We have turned our power over to others.

Your Best Friend

I often told my students, and continue to tell my clients, “You are the best friend you’ll ever have in this lifetime. You just need to trust what you have to say to you. Listen to yourself. Trust yourself.”

Listening to self goes against our programming – the programming we’ve encountered from birth until now.

If you have an inner voice promoting self-harm or harm to others, or you experience paranoia, please seek immediate mental health help.

If you are filled with self-doubt (when it comes to listening to self) and you have the nay-sayer speeches going on, that is usually the survivor ego self trying to talk you out of any changes.

I don’t mean the “I am G-d’s gift to the world” self-inflated ego self. I am talking about the “I have to keep you alive by not allowing any changes, even if it’s healthier (some cases, safer) for you” ego. This is a part of us that helped the human race to survive.

All this ego wants is to be heard and acknowledged. I listen, thank that part of me, let that part know that I heard it and acknowledge its concerns. Then I ask it be to be quiet. This usually works for me. One can repeat, lovingly but firmly, as needed.

Learning to listen to self does take persistence, patience and practice. You are working on undoing how many years of programming?

Empowering and Freeing

I am not necessarily talking about doing the opposite of what others tell or expect of you, or direct you to do; I believe that’s called defiance.

I’m talking about the inner voice – which usually sounds like your own self-talk – communicating truth to you.

Have you ever talked with someone, and in your mind you thought, “You are lying through your teeth!”? That may be the truth speaking to you…you speaking to you.

By the way, I know I’ve said this before, but in case you missed it…when someone lies to me, not only do I “see” the discordance in their energy, and physically feel it in my body, I also hear “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” singing in my head.

Maybe you can start by remembering the saying, “If something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t”.

Learning to trust yourself can be empowering and freeing – and I wish everyone success in that.


by Jan Toomer


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