We’ve discussed how we can no longer rescue* others; we can’t do it for them. It is time for each individual to accept responsibility for their lives, including their own actions, thoughts and words – as well as the consequences.

For those who used to rescue* others, what can you do instead?


Allow is to let someone do something or let something happen; permit. ~ (Google)

Allow the person the right to have the experience without your judgment or interference (which includes taking it from them and/or doing it for them).

We can lend support, listen and cheer them on (where appropriate).

However, being passive / allowing may not be the best thing for every aspect of your own life. Action is sometimes called for – as long as it doesn’t rob another of a life experience or a growth or learning opportunity.


Action is the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim. ~ (Google)

For example: You usually can’t get that new car without action. A car requires payment, so action is taken to acquire the funds to accomplish the goal – whether it’s securing a loan or saving up money.

Action or Allow?

So what the difference between Action and Allow?

Action comes from the head. ~ Troubleshooting, planning, scheduling, coordinating, gathering, etc. to move forward; pro-active. Can also be prompted from the heart.

Allow comes from the heart. ~ Moving out of your head and into your heart. Bring still; listening; honoring others journeys. Coming from a place of love. And hearing when it’s time for action.

*Rescue — Rescuing, as in coming to someone’s aid in an emergency, is something totally different and not being addressed in this article.

Rescue used in this article refers to handling others problems which are a direct result of their own actions or words.



by Jan Toomer


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