His cataract eyes squinted and the corner of his lip rose as he leaned forward. His grip on his shopping cart tightened as he demanded, “Why do I see you two together all the time?” Disgust rolled off in waves.
I frowned and glanced over at my husband before answering. Hubby’s eyebrows slightly lifted. I turned back to the cranky man. “Because we like being together.”
Hubby nodded his agreement.
Cranky man grunted, swung his cart around and stomped off.
We really weren’t surprised by his unusual outbursts, and with him being a 70+ year old bachelor, I’m sure he didn’t really understand our relationship.
Hubby and I love going to the toy store (AKA hardware store) together. What cranky man didn’t know was that Hubby and I don’t spend all of our time together.
Don’t Wait on Me
“Don’t wait on me.”
Hubby’s work used to take him away from home, a lot. He said those words to me during one of the rare times he was home and we had some time to sit and talk.
“Don’t stop living your life while I’m gone.”
His words shocked me. Not because they came from him, but because I realized that I had been putting my life on hold – waiting for him.
With his gentle reminder, I moved forward with my life. He was not forgotten in any way. But I no longer put my life on hold for him; nor he for I. No, no affairs. But we didn’t let life pass us by – separately and together.
This got me to thinking….
How Many Do?
How many people put their lives on hold, waiting for their significant other? How’s the resentment level?
How many significant others are demanding their partner wait on them? Is that being selfish?
Please don’t put your life on hold for someone else. Please don’t demand someone put their life on hold for you. Don’t ask someone to quit living while you’re off doing something else.
Each person has their own interests. If you are up to your ears in your life (perhaps a work-a-holic?), please don’t expect your partner to sit idly by until you finally give yourself permission to squeeze out some time for them.
Are you expecting them to be ready and waiting when you want them to be?
Maybe you don’t want them pursuing an interest without you – yet you won’t compromise and regularly take any of your time, or make the time, to share that interest.
Ouch, right?
In the meantime, your waiting partner is watching life go by; perhaps with resentment building within.
If you have shared interests, please either make regular time to share that interest, or release (without resentment) your partner to pursue it without you.
Hubby and I are not perfect, but we do adhere to allowing each other to follow interests without one another. We also have interests we share, but if I don’t, for example, feel like going to the toy store with him, I don’t expect him to refrain from going.
Don’t stop living your life. It’s okay to do some things apart from one another.
by Jan Toomer
Follow Us!