Many years ago, I had come down with a muscle condition, and the doctor recommended weekly appointments with a massage therapist. I had had massages before, so there was no problem there.
I made my first appointment and arrived on time. It was not what I expected.
There were candles lit, and under the massage table was a large quartz cluster. I was a bit excited, thinking “Great! Someone into the metaphysical!”
The massages worked miracles on my body. I always lay on the table with my eyes closed, and would often watch the energy in the room (not all massage therapists are aware of the energy, or the entities, present during this healing practice). I watched the guides as they worked with the therapist and with my body. I was entertained and relaxed. Though, I never spoke of it.
One day, I was relaxed, and had a sudden thought – and that thought made me very nervous. I was being instructed to remove the protective shell I had around me; the very same shell I placed around me at a young age – one that hid me.
I hesitated – this shell protected me so that others would not see the ‘real’ me – the me that people often saw as a ‘freak’ or were afraid of; now I was being instructed to remove it.
I did it.
And as the shell fell away, I heard my therapist gasp.
“Oh crap!” I yelled in my mind, and threw up the shell again. I did not want to open my eyes and face the therapist – and see reflected in her eyes either fear or disgust.
I said to her, “I will go get dressed”, opened my eyes and began to rise. She firmly placed her hand on my shoulder and told me something that literally brought me to tears.
She told me to stay put; to look at her, and listen. I did.
She said that the gasp was that she just wasn’t expecting it – it did not scare her, it did not disgust her (now, I never voiced my concerns!). She said she just didn’t realize the magnitude of what I was hiding.
Then she told me that I was to release the shell and never put it back on; that I needed to quit hiding who I really was. I began to cry. Very few knew my ‘secret’, and most of those who did (mainly my family), saw me as a freak and stayed far away. Here, my massage therapist, accepted me in my entirety – and she was practically a stranger!
It took about a month of consciously practicing to keep the shell off (I kept finding my self putting it back on, mainly out of a very long standing habit) – but eventually I trained myself to get rid of completely.
Today, the shell is but a memory of the past.
If you’ve been hiding the ‘real’ you – hiding your light – then it’s time to shine!
If you know the real you, let it be shown. If you don’t, perhaps it’s time to find out.
Please don’t settle for anything less than who you really are.
by Jan Toomer
posted March 18, 2009