There’s a fun and challenging game called “Twister”.
Imagine, if you will, that you’re on the Twister mat and you’re waiting for the whirl of the spinner and the other person to tell you where to go; which hand or leg goes on which colored dot.
Except you gave a spinner to five different people and you’re the only one on the mat. You now have multiple people telling your what to do or where to go, all at the same time.
You can’t hear or do every move at the exact same time, so you pick out one that you had heard called and do that move.
And you now have four other people mad at you because you didn’t do their move. They feel that you didn’t hear them; that you ignored them; you made them feel “less than” or not important.
Frustration and resentment builds in every player, including yourself.
Whose fault is this? Yours.
The intent may have been to have each person in the game feel empowered; to have an equal voice; but that’s not what happened.
It instead created chaos and instability in your life.
In the Twister game example, you gave all of your power to everyone else – and when you weren’t able to keep up with the individual demands of those other people, it all went downhill.
It doesn’t matter why you did it.
In your own reality, you are responsible for where you put your hand or foot (metaphorically speaking); no one else’s.
It Shouldn’t Be This Hard
Resentment, chaos, instability or anger are indicators that something didn’t go well, or isn’t going well.
Now I’m not saying every bump in the road means you are off your life path. We continue to have learning opportunities throughout our human experience.
But when something creates frustration or resentment, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate.
In the Twister example, you might have known why you gave the spinner to everyone else, but maybe you never mentioned to each person that others have spinners as well. And perhaps you neglected to share with them why you did that.
But some people give away their spinners (power) for other reasons. Some reasons could be lethargy or apathy; fear of having to make their own decisions; or not wanting to take responsibility for one’s own life.
Maybe the power was given away because they saw their parents do it and thought that this is what one is supposed to do.
The spinners in your life could be connected to aspects of, or interactions with:
- Personal relationships
- Work relationships
- Social settings
Wherever there is a consistent struggle and/or disharmony, it’s probably time to take a look at what’s going on.
You cannot change the other person/people, but you can change yourself.
Your life really shouldn’t be this hard.
Ask yourself why you gave your power away – and be honest. Was it you didn’t want the responsibility? Did you do it out of fear? Did you not think ahead of the possibilities of your action(s)?
A Personal Example
I was on a hormone replacement that required a prescription from my doctor. It came from an out-of-state compounding pharmacy, and the prescription renewal process had been flawless for twenty years.
Suddenly that system failed. For over a month of communicating with my doctor – both on the phone and in-person — her staff, and the pharmacy; having the blessings of my doctor, and her promise to renew it; I still couldn’t get it renewed. Everyone played nice and everyone involved had intentions of this happening.
But it didn’t.
I realized that it really shouldn’t be this hard. As I went back and forth with phone calls and visits, I realized I was getting resentful and frustrated. I had turned my power over to them.
I stopped all the communications and went online to search for an alternative that didn’t rely on others. (Please don’t stop your medications without your doctor’s involvement.)
I immediately found an alternative, ordered it and began taking it. Two days after I began the alternative (and over a month of trying to get the prescription renewed), the unbeknownst-to-me filled prescription was delivered to my doorstep.
To whom did you give your power?
- Change your perspective and look for the silver lining (“What have I learned and what good can I take from this experience?”).
- Take responsibility for your life choices.
- Reclaim your power (in a safe and constructive manner).
by Jan Toomer