by Peter Perkins
Fear is one of the emotions that hold us back from many of the wondrous things that we can accomplish in our lives, as individuals and societies. Fear is not something that comes with us when we come into this world. How many times do we speak of children as being fearless. In fact many times I have seen children take a fall; they look around stunned for a little bit, but unless a parent or someone runs over and makes sounds of being worried the child often gets up and runs off to keep playing. When a parent or someone else runs over looking worried and asking if the child is ok it’s as if the child realizes that they have to react in some way and they start to cry.
We grow up and learn fear, from people around us. Starting with our parents, and then from the societies we live in. As a child a parent might say don’t touch this or don’t do that. It is because they fear that we will hurt ourselves. Sometimes the parents might come over and spank us without us even doing what they fear as a way to teach us to be afraid. It’s comical from a grown up perspective yet I have seen it many times at stores or parks etc.
As we grow up the fears tend to pile up. Society teaches us to be afraid of other cultures, of different ways of doing things. It teaches us to fear our own thoughts and ideas unless they pair up perfectly with societal norms which vary depending on which society you are in.
Religions which are mostly to bring enlightenment and spiritual peace to people often bring fear too. I was raised Catholic and one of the big things taught in the church was fear. Fear of damnation, fear of hell, fear of ostracism from other church members. We were taught going to church helped secure one’s place in heaven though by no means was it a guarantee. On the other hand – missing church, not going to confession, or heaven forbid not being catholic insured eternal damnation.
Over the years I have been to other religious establishments, each pushing fear in their own way but the fear comes back to one thing. They want to create a fear to keep one coming back; loss of membership is loss of revenue for most religions.
Media, both news and entertainment in their own ways push fears. Advertisements for cosmetics push a fear of growing older, and create anxiety about one’s looks. Even though it has been revealed that many of these advertisements are touched up or altered to produce unrealistic visions of beauty it hasn’t stopped the adds from rolling out.
Pharmaceutical ads push fears of various medical conditions. Is it just a sore muscle or could it be endemic of a more serious condition. Are you depressed, well then you need some medication to pick you up and make you happy. The list of new medications keeps rolling out along with lists of new fears to make one wonder if they had better not be on these new medications.
It’s not just the modern world that is filled with fears. In ancient China, Emperor Qin Shi Huang ordered all books in the empire burned because his chancellor Li Si created a fear in him that book-makers and scholars may speak out against him. What a horror it was that centuries of information, history, technology and philosophies were put to the torch due to fear.
Not only advertisements, but politically creating fears of the other party or some other group or opposing view are pushed to extremes to create fears in people for trying new things, for beginning new projects or anything that goes against a certain political view. The pushing of fear in the media can even create problems where there were none before. Prejudices created by fear of racial groups or religious groups and nationalities can prevent friendships, working together to resolve differences if they even need to be resolved and can work against potential benefits if those fears weren’t engendered in the first place.
So how can we overcome fears? They seem to be everywhere cropping up in all facets of life. Stop a moment when you feel fear rising up and realize anger can be fear in disguise as well, now that you have stopped try and see who does the fear serve?
This alone can make one come to startling revelations. Realizations that these fears don’t serve oneself at all. Sometimes it takes just this brief moment of contemplation to realize the fears heaped on us might have nothing to do with our own benefits but with someone else’s. Can someone, or some group whether religious, political, business or social gain financial or some other benefit by making you have fears? If so, you have to ask yourself – are these fears founded?
Fears don’t always come from others, sometimes we have fears within ourselves. Fear of change is something most people have because their is uncertainty. Yet even here we have to see if the fear is wholly our own, or the opinions of others. There are many times that amazing people ignored the opinions of parents, friends and colleagues to try something new and different.
One of the big ways to overcome fears is trust. Trust yourself. Trust your own ability to make decisions. Trust in your ability to overcome, after all you have gotten yourself this far in life. Trust other people to make decisions and decide what is right for them as well.
Gratitude is also something that can help in overcoming fears. While you may be fearing the future and it’s uncertainties focusing on the many things you are thankful about can help change your views on things. Realizing there are many things to be grateful about is a good way to understand the many fears you have overcome before.
Not only is gratitude a way to overcome fears but it is a wonderful way to realize the resources you do have. These resources alone may allow you to realize some fears are really small things after all.
Peter
Follow Us!