For all of you who don’t feel like they belong; don’t fit; are constantly trying to find a niche’ or place to belong. For those of you who keep trying, thinking and hoping, “Maybe this time,” while asking yourself, “Where do I fit?”
Knowing that you’re probably very spiritual, but not necessarily religious, can seem to make it more difficult. Hopping from one church to the next; one belief system to the next belief system, trying to find one that fits you.
Or maybe trying out different interest groups – new age, metaphysical, spiritual, etc. – and finding that, while the people were nice, something was still lacking or it didn’t fit quite right.
This is what I went through in my younger days. I tried to find my niche’. “Where do I fit? Where do I belong?” I didn’t fit comfortably or fully anywhere.
Talk about feeling more like an odd duck after searching and searching and still not knowing where one belongs.
But I’m A Human Too
My team (of guides) raised me (spiritually and metaphysically). They taught and instructed me, and they guided me. But, I had wanted human interaction with all of this, too. Or perhaps human validation?
I wanted another human to talk to; to feel or understand what I was saying or experiencing. So I wouldn’t feel so alone.
As a child, I would tell my mother that I thought I was adopted and that I didn’t belong here; I didn’t belong on Earth.
I would sit at my bedroom window at night — when I was supposed to be in bed – and would cry and look to the stars, begging and begging, “Please take me home. This was a mistake! I don’t belong here! I don’t! I can’t do this!”
And that feeling stayed with me until my epiphany.
I know I’ve written about this before, but am going to share it here again for those who’ve not read it.
After many years of feeling the outcast, the freak, and alone – and of asking myself, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I this way?”, I had an epiphany.
The epiphany was, “I am perfect.”
Oh, don’t get me wrong. I – Jan – am not perfect. I make mistakes, and I screw up, but for Jan – for me – I am perfect the way I am.
And I’m always a work in progress.
Source (Creator, God) and my Higher Self know a lot more about what’s going on than physical Jan – you know, the one in the physical body?
They (Source and Higher Self) have a broader perspective, better understanding and a more objective view then what I have while in my physical body.
I chose my parents. I chose to create this body. I chose all of this. Maybe not on a presently conscious level, but I did choose it; and the Source and my Higher Self had, and have, a really big part in all of this.
And the Source doesn’t make mistakes.
There are reasons for how I am; who I am; and my body.
So that was my epiphany. The Source doesn’t make mistakes (therefore I am not a mistake), and I am perfect for me in this lifetime. Period.
Once that realization hit me, I no longer needed or desired to search outside of me for a place to belong.
In a Nutshell
So I guess what I’m saying – in a nutshell – is to stop looking outside of yourself for what’s inside of you.
Your search really belongs within. It doesn’t belong out there – trying to get others to accept you, or you to force-fit yourself into their space.
You have it all inside of you, and once you’re comfortable in accepting self, life seems a whole lot easier.
Once you accept yourself, you’re okay if someone doesn’t like you. That’s their right.
Also, you’re not going to like everybody, and that’s okay too.
With self acceptance, you realize that you don’t need to fit – or be forced – into someone else’s mold.
You just might see a whole lot of changes…just from that simple little act of self-acceptance. Your life can change.
Like I said, I’m perfect and I’m a work in progress, but that’s all part of the human experience.
May you find peace within you – to accept and love you and your body.
by Jan Toomer