“You know my track record for getting married. Five times. Five marriages, five divorces. I just need you to tell me if the man I’m seeing now is going to end up another failed marriage.”
I shook my head. “I can’t tell you that. But I can ask you some questions. These aren’t for you to answer me. They are for you to think about.
“Is this new relationship from a place in love or in fear? What I mean is, when you think of this man, do you think of fear, doubt, or concentrate on comparing this relationship to your past relationships, or even fearing this relationship will end poorly? If so, that is in a place of fear, not love.
“Secondly, is this another project relationship? Are you rescuing him or feeling like you can ‘fix’ him? You’ve had five projects now, so perhaps you should find a partner this time around – not a fixer upper.”
“Ouch, Jan. You don’t hold anything back, do you?”
I smiled. “I don’t get paid to hold things back. If the same old energy pattern hadn’t worked, perhaps it’s time to change things up and try something else. I do hope you’ll think about the questions I presented to you.”
* * *
In Love or In Fear
I recommend checking in with yourself regularly and ask if you are coming at something, or someone, in your life in love or in fear.
While being in fear does provide one some valuable learning opportunities, I much prefer life experiences from a place in love.
By Jan Toomer
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