I think we’ve all may have had, at least once, that one client, patient or customer who keeps coming back, but does so with a surly attitude and unkind words.
I want to make this very clear…it’s not you. How can I be so sure? Think about it…if your service was truly bad, they wouldn’t have returned, nor would your other clients.
I’ve seen, and heard, some people’s days go dark from one such customer. Why? Because their unkind words or attitude was accepted into the practitioner (massage therapist, chiropractor, energy healer, doctor, etc.), and then believing that they did do something wrong or that perhaps the client is right. In response to the accepted negativity, the practitioner may have begun thinking, “I don’t know why I bother. No one listens to me / my recommendations / guidance.” Or they felt angry, low, depressed, unworthy, or something along those lines.
Now don’t get me wrong. None of us are perfect and can make mistakes. Take care of it and move on.
But this badgering is different. Don’t let one bad apple defined you or define your day.
It’s not you – otherwise they wouldn’t keep coming back.
You can recommend or offer guidance until the cows come home, but if the client doesn’t accept it, it’s not on you. The client needs to accept responsibility for their actions and non-actions. Please don’t accept responsibility for them ignoring your input. They are getting something out of seeing you or they wouldn’t return.
No Excuses
There could be one or more reasons as to why that grumpy client is acting that way. These are not excuses and that kind of behavior should not be excused. Here’s some possible “why’s” on an energetic level:
– They don’t feel good about themselves and want to spread the misery.
– Commitment or trust issues. They are afraid if they let their guard down, they’ll be disappointed or hurt, so have a nasty temperament to keep from having a rapport.
– They don’t really want help. They may be in victim-mode or whiny mode and have no interest in relinquishing it – they may want to milk it as much as they can and have no intent to improve anything.
– They may be lonely but don’t want anyone to catch on to that.
– Or any other reason a person may have for being surly.
Again, no excuse for being unkind to anyone, especially those people the client sought out for help.
Recommendations
I don’t know your circumstances, but for me, I have some choices as to seeing that type of client again or not. I’d rather have clients who are working towards their balancing themselves than those playing in the victim-role with no intentions of getting better.
Of course, you a free to use or not any of my recommendations. You know your practice, and your beliefs, better than anyone. You accept responsibility for what you decide.
– Break the Connection –
Maybe tell the client something along the lines of, “SusieQ, I don’t think we’re a good match. Perhaps you need to find another practitioner to work with.”
– Holding Them Responsible For Their Part –
If firing your client doesn’t work with your beliefs, vows, etc., maybe bring the lack of the client’s responsibility to their attention. “Mr. Smith, have you tried the exercises/recommendations I provided you? No? Okay, once you’ve given those a try, with real effort, we can then perhaps try some other things. But until you’ve tried what steps I’ve recommended, you are (or will remain) at a standstill.”
– Shielding / Duck –
None of those mentioned work for you? Okay, how about one or both of the following?
– Shielding
This is a short visualization exercise that can aid you in centering, protecting and/or setting energetic boundaries. You decide what kind of outside energy you’ll allow into your energy. Your energy is your responsibility.
– Duck
Ducks have this cool coating on their feathers that keeps the water from penetrating and soaking their feathers, thus keeping the water away from their body.
If you watch a duck after it pops up from diving, or when it sits in the rain, water balls up into small rounds and rolls off their back – the same way rain falls off a freshly waxed car surface.
So if someone comes at you with their negative stuff, remember you don’t have to take it into you. Let it roll off you like “Water off a duck’s back”. Their beliefs aren’t necessarily yours, unless you accept them into you.
And remember all the other clients you have who you’ve helped? And the one’s who work to help you to help them? Don’t let one bad apple define you or your day.
By Jan Toomer
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