Your truths are yours.
My truths are mine.
Sometimes they overlap – and sometimes they don’t.
But, it still remains:
Your truths are yours.
My truths are mine.
Why am I bringing this up? For a few reasons, but for today it was because I was recently asked why I allow acrimonious, mordacious, or incensed comments on some of my posts or shared posts.
I allow this because they are commenting on their truth. It saddens me when someone responds to an opinion, or another’s truth, with such scathing; these are emotions based in fear. But, that was their truth as that time. That doesn’t mean I like or agree with them, but I will respect their right to feel the way they feel.
However, having said that, I will not allow if comments crank up to bullying, targeting, or verbal/physical attacks.
“I’m sorry, but…”
If someone starts a sentence or conversation, or inserts this, they are not sorry; they believe that by prefacing with, “I’m sorry, but…” that it will make what follows not seem like the attack or the devaluation of your thoughts, experiences, etc. that they mean to present. In other words, they use this preface so they don’t appear to be a jerk. But, they’re not sorry and they are being a jerk.
“I’m sorry I shared that sad, depressing, or negative experience or thought.”
Seriously? Why would you apologize for speaking about how you felt or what you experienced?
Did you say it in a way to be mean, malicious, manipulative or cruel? Then yes, apologize.
Did you say it to intentionally bring others down; misery loves company? Then yes, apologize.
Did you say it because you’re in victim-mode and want others’ sympathy? Then yes, apologize.
If you didn’t speak to be cruel, bring others down, or stay in victim-mode, then why are you apologizing? What you spoke was/is your truth at that moment.
Chances are rather high that someone else needed to hear or read about your experience. Maybe they’re going through something similar; had similar reactions or thoughts, or just needed to hear or read that they weren’t they only ones to experience it or feel that way.
Speak Your Truth
I believe we can each speak our truth without attacking someone else for their truth. My truth does not invalidate yours; nor does your truth invalidate mine.
I do ask you don’t attack those whose truths differ from yours.
We’re all in this together. We each have the right to our feelings.
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By Jan Toomer
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